February 2010
3 posts
*phone rings*
Me: This is David, how can I help you?
Customer: Do you have office chairs?
Me: Yep.
Customer: Okay, so my husband is...very large. He has a tendency to sit in my chairs, and when he does he pretty much instantly breaks them. Do you have any chairs for large people?
Me: Umm, well how large are we talking? If you don't mind me asking.
Customer: He's about 450 lbs.
Me: Oh, wow, umm, I don't think so. Hold on just a second.
I took a look at all of our chairs. I didn't want to give this woman any false hope.
Me: Yeah, I'd say our chairs could hold around 250 lbs. max. I'd check our website though.
Customer: I'm just tired of him literally smashing my chairs.
Me: I can't imagine.
January 2010
6 posts
Customer: I'd like to use this coupon.
Me: I'm sorry, that coupon's expired.
Customer: Just run it anyway.
Me: I can't. It won't work.
Customer: Who do you think you are?!
Me: Who do YOU think I am? I didn't pick the date for the coupon to expire! I don't run this company! I'm a glorified gopher!
Customer: Just let me use the coupon!
Me: I CAN'T! The register is basically just a computer program! It won't physically let me APPLY this coupon!
Customer: Fine. I'm not going to buy this then.
Me: IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
Customer: Do you work here?
Me: No.
Customer: Ten million pens AND YOU DON’T HAVE THE ONE I WANT! BULLSHIT!
Snow
There was a level two snow emergency in town last week, on a night I was at work. Here is a list of things people risked their lives to buy at the store:
1. Sharpies
2. Dividers
3. A piano keyboard (why the fuck would an office supply store carry that?)
4. Mixed nuts
5. A pencil cup
6. A milk crate
7. Shipping boxes
I mean, I once drove to Taco Bell in a level 3, but at least I can say it...
My friend Jason has much different problems at his...
robajob:
I guess I should get used to listeners developing crushes on the voice they hear on the radio at night, as I’m sure it happens to everyone in radio, but I’ve been getting it in e-mail form lately, and I guess that makes it a little more concrete and therefore a tiny bit creepier.
Can’t say I don’t appreciate having a fan or two, but obviously I’m not going to pursue any of their...